Not a blog post I wanted to write but we are where we are, and there's no point raging against the circumstances we all find ourselves in, no matter how much we may want to. I keep finding myself thinking, what if we could go back in time and tell our past selves how long this would go on for? It's more than certainly better that we didn't know. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.
I've likened this time to treading through treacle, defiantly trying to put one foot in front of the other, despite everything going on around us. But it's also like a roller-coaster that we have no control over. Some days, it's easier to be hopeful, grateful for what we have, taking pleasure in the small things, recognising the privileges we have. And other days, it's hard to envisage what the future looks like, with all the loss that has been experienced. Whether that's losing a loved one, losing a job, losing a home, losing financial certainty and security, losing plans for the future, losing your health, losing your sense of safety, losing a relationship or friendship, or even worse, a combination of all or some of these things.
It's an uphill slog, particularly since the passing of the anniversary of the first lockdown. Knowing we're now into the second year of the pandemic makes everything harder to accept and process. The second Easter, the second round of lockdown birthdays. Every second iteration of cancelled plans and lost opportunity stings harder than the first time round. The prospect of plans being delayed further. Talks of a third wave and a fourth lockdown. The vaccination programme gives us a sense of there being a way out but for the vast majority of us under the age of 50, our first jabs are still weeks, if not months away.
Yet in a matter of weeks there's talk of returning to 'normal'. For some, for sure. But for those of us who've stuck to the rules, and who don't have any protection, we will remain cautious, to our detriment, knowing that in many cases what matters to us is not going shopping, or attending an event, or going on holiday - we just want to hug our family and friends safely, we want to move on with our lives. Particularly those of us living not with family, but with friends, partners or exes. For us, bubbles and combining households throws up more problems than it solves. Our lives are messy, we don't fit an identikit mould of the nuclear family unit. How do you choose between family, friends and significant others? It's an impossible conundrum not given enough consideration by those in charge who only see life through the lense of their own experiences.
My biggest hope is that in a year's time, most if not all of this is behind us. We can begin to see a life beyond social distancing and lockdowns. We can begin to heal and learn from the experiences of this time. Never again take for granted the importance of the things we lost. Never again undervalue the vital role of public health. Never again forget how reliant we are on each other - we are not just individuals, we are a community, a society, a species that is interconnected and needs to start acting as such.
We need to emerge more compassionate, caring, kind, gentle and patient, with ourselves and others.
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